The Story of How I Got An Agent Interested

Kid B was up at 5.30 again. Been the same all week. I think she's slowly becoming nocturnal. What with long work hours, a two and a half hour round trip to work and the writing, I haven't been this tired since she was a newborn. And the Better Half and I get to do it again in May when Kid C arrives! I tell you what, I'm having the snip after this one. 

They should film my life for a contraception commercial. Forget all the STD and the "respec' from your mates" stuff. All they need to show is a picture of me. See this man? Haggard, grumpy, skint? Yeah, this is what happens if you have a few glasses of wine and think "We'll be ok going bareback just this once." 

Or I always thought the slogan "Buy Me And Stop One" would be good for Durex. 

Still no word back from the BBC Writers Room about "Stuck Between Stations". Yes. Definitely on Someone Important's desk. 

I've got a meeting with my agent this afternoon to discuss my plans for the year. I think I said a very long time ago that I'd write about how I got them interested. So here goes. I'm not saying that this is a foolproof way of getting an agent, or even a guide. It's just a series of events that happened. 

First, I did my research. I used a copy of the Writer's Handbook by Barry Turner (no relation). There's a big section in there listing agents. I went through this and drew up a list of the agencies that might be interested in my work (let's face it, you don't want to be wasting money sending letters off to agencies that have no interest in representing screenwriters) and who already represented people that I respected. That was my A-list. (If my agent is reading this, you guys were on the A-list!)

Then you need to drill-down.  You need to find a contact name. Most agencies have a website, it takes two minutes to find the name of someone in the company who represents the type of stuff that you're writing. Get it in their (or their assistant's) in tray. 

Letters addressed to just the agency are, I'm guessing, going to drift around aimlessly until someone claims it. Or just get a straight "no thanks, we're too busy". That theory is based on absolutely no empirical evidence whatsoever. 

When it comes to the query letter, keep it short and sweet. No more than a page. Less, if you can. A few paragraphs. If I remember rightly, my letter launched straight into the pitch for the script I wanted to send. Then I said a tiny, tiny bit about me that was relevant (the fact that I'd had this and a previous script optioned) Don't go on for 9 pages about how, when backpacking through the Urals, you had a vision that this was your calling. Apparently that happens more than you'd think. 

Then I thanked them and hoped to hear from them soon.

The letter was duly posted (I also included a stamped, self-addressed postcard with "I'd like to read it/I'm not interested" on it. They never get used, but I think it shows keenness and organisation on your part. I'm not even sure that's needed, actually. When I started searching for an agent, email wasn't massively popular. What do you think?)

I got a very nice email saying that they'd like to read the script. After reading, they said that they could see promise in my writing. Had I got anything else? So I dusted off a previous script and sent that off. They liked that, so we had a meeting.

Then they asked a very pertinent question "Have you got anything we can actually sell?" I'd spent my time writing features and I think we're all well aware of how difficult it is to get someone to give you any actual money for them. 

Then life got in the way, but now I think I'm actually writing stuff that they can actually sell. Go me.