Bad Television

Well, I made it into work and then decided to come home at lunchtime and work on the company's VPN. I think I impressed some onlookers as I elegantly glided the car right past my driveway and directly towards an oncoming bus.

I may need to point out to readers in more efficient countries that as soon as a flake of snow hits the ground, the entire infrastructure of the U.K. collapses in on itself. As they say on "Top Gear", "Ambitious, but rubbish." In fact, they should have that on signs at all airports. "Welcome to Great Britain. Ambitious, but rubbish." I'd visit, if I wasn't already here.

Talking of "Top Gear", I caught Richard Hammond's new show "Total Wipeout" on Saturday. I can actually feel myself getting dumber watching it, but it's hypnotic. And I then realised that I've lost my bad television filter.

A few years ago, I would've rather gouged out my own eyes than sit through "Hole In The Wall", but now I think that the entire human experience has merely been prologue to the commissioning of that show.

Instead of going out on a Saturday night, I sit in front of "Street Wars" with a few cans of lager, watching drunken idiots being arrested on it and I can re-create a night out at a Yates's at a fraction of the price.

And the new Gladiators! It's like televisual crack. Every Sunday evening, Kid A and I sit down for an hour of people falling in water and Ian Wright shouting.

I've got a digibox chock full of episodes of "24", "Nine Queens" and "Battlestar Galactica" but when you've got endless episodes of "Takeshi's Castle", who cares?!