Friday, 24 July 2009

I Have Moved


Thanks for visiting. I've upped sticks and moved, though, to

Please come over and have a look. It's a much nicer place, I think you'll agree. The same old rambling but with more leg room.

See you in a minute!

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Movie Meme

I saw this over at the lovely Laura Anderson's blog and thought I could kill some time by taking part myself...

1.Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.

Star Wars Episodes IV - VI (Oh, what a surprise! Man in 30s likes Star Wars shock!) and Dr. Strangelove. And 'This is Spinal Tap'.

2.Name a movie that you’ve seen multiple times in the theater.

I've wracked my brains and the only time I've paid twice to see a film was - the shame - "Four Weddings and a Funeral". I went with some friends and then my girlfriend at the time wanted to go and see it again.

"Is it raining? I hadn't noticed?" Worst. Line. Ever.

3.Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.

Three little words. John Fuckin' Cusack.

4.Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.

Three little words. Adam Fuckin' Sandler.

5.Name a movie that you can and do quote from.

My friend Adrian and I can hold entire conversations in the pub quoting only from "Withnail and I".

"What's your name? McFuck?" Best. Insult. Ever.

6.Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.

I'm a straight male so there are none. They would take away my bloke licence. Saying that, I could probably have a good stab at Grease.

7.Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.

Schindler's List.

8.Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.

If you've ever had a soul-crushing white-collar job then it has to be "Office Space".

9.Name a movie that you own.

"Independence Day". I stand by my opinion that it absolutely rocks (Well, the first half at least).

10.Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.

Can I cheat and say Johnny Depp because he was originally a musician before "A Nightmare on Elm Street"?

11.Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in?

Drive-ins are conspicuous by their absence in the home counties.

No.12. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to it.

"In Bruges" and "No Country for Old Men" have been sat on the sideboard from LoveFilm for several months now.

13.Ever walked out of a movie?

No. Came very close during "Seven" and "Starship Troopers" though. This had nothing to do with the quality of the films and everything to do with the quality of my hangover.

14.Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.

Oh dear. I'm terrible watching films. I'm pretty sure I welled up during "Independence Day". The worst time was "Philedelphia", though. I was about 18, with some friends. I almost went during the family party scene, but I stayed strong. I'd made it all the way through. And then they started playing Neil Young. I'm a sucker for Neil Young. The complete stranger next to me passed me tissues.

15.What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?

Sadly, I can't remember. The last one I remember seeing was "Enchanted" but I'm sure I've been since. Was pleasantly surprised by the whole affair. And I have the hots for Amy Adams. She's a possible future ex-Mrs Turner.

16.What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie?

I'm probably going to have to say comedy, aren't I?

17.What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?

'The Jungle Book'. Back before VHS and DVD, the only way you could see an old film was if it was re-released. They should do that more. Nothing beats being a small child and the lights dimming. See? I'm welling up typing that! Pussy.

18.What movie do you wish you had never seen?

That's an interesting question. True, there have been many films after which I've proclaimed "there's two hours of my life I'll never get back" but I've probably learnt something from all of them.

19.What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?

I'd have to say "What's Up, Tiger Lilly?". Primarily because I've never seen the technique used in a film before or since.

If you don't know it, Woody Allen took a Japanese Bond-esque spy movie and then overdubbed it with a group of actors. And then the Lovin' Spoonful pop up half way through and perform a song. All very sixties.

"Name an American president."
"Abraham Lincoln?"

Which currently makes no sense, but in context is one of the funniest lines ever.

20.What is the scariest movie you’ve seen?

'The Shining'. My brother and I were watching it for the first time. It was Hallowe'en, we had popcorn and all the lights off. Half way through, my brother turns to me.

Bro: "I need to go to the toilet."
Me: "Okay".
Bro: "Will you come with me?"
Me: "Yes."

And then I hung around in the toilet with him because neither of us wanted to be alone at that point.

21.What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?

'This is Spinal Tap'. Don't try and persuade me otherwise. "It's a thin line between stupid and clever". Better than Shakespeare, that.

Monday, 20 July 2009

Screenwriters' Festival - Like Glastonbury Without the Silly Hats

I've suddenly realised that the Screenwriters' Festival in only a handful of months away.

Admittedly, I've only realised this after getting another email from the organisers demanding a headshot for the delegates list. So I got the Better Half to take this:

The thick-rimmed glasses. The cardigan. The thousand yard stare. Doesn't it just scream "professional writer"? That or "likes to keep his victims in a box".

I'm wholly unprepared for the whole event. I've completely forgotten the plot of "In the Name of Light Entertainment", my entry for the "Son of a Pitch" contest. Not a good start. I also have an uncontrollable urge to sing "Sweet Caroline" if anybody hands me a microphone.

So, who's going? Where are you staying? Can I count on your vote for the contest? Should we organise a drink one night for all the bloggers/blog readers?

Friday, 17 July 2009

Signs of the Coming Apocalypse Part 3.

You mean she's (ghost) writing children's books now? FFS.

With all the great works of children's fiction out there, who in their right mind would choose something written by a woman who's entire career has been based on getting her tits out and marrying the world's most un-life-like man?

My biggest disappointment, though, is that she isn't a fan of dogs so there could be a range of books titled "Katie Price's Perfect Puppies". Then the offices of the Sun newspaper would implode in a shower of double entendre. 

P.S. I'm not sure what a double entendre is. Can anybody fill me in?

Boom - and indeed - Boom.

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Inexplicably Popular Posts


You will notice on the left hand side, I've added an "Inexplicably Popular Posts" widget. I may be using the word "popular" incorrectly, but they're the most read posts on this l'il ol' blog. Sort of a "Beginners Guide to Dave's Brain".

I should probably be concerned that my confession of love for a cartoon bear should be the 5th most read thing I've written.

My mother must be so proud.

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Spot The Mistake

Sky's website handily compiles the day's newspaper front pages. I searched for "newspaper front pages 2009" and I have printed the results below.

Hang on. The 9th July 2009 is missing from the list. Surely some mistake?

Oh, wasn't that the day that the Guardian printed the story about the News International owned Sun allegedly hacking telephone messages? Now, it does list the 9th July's headlines on the next page but, for some reason, Sky feels that day's front pages have less relevance than any other day of the month.

Just an observation.

Monday, 13 July 2009

Worst. Pun. Ever.

My town holds an annual Roald Dahl festival.

Just so you've got that:

Roald Dahl.

No Hitchcock.

My local newspaper reported it thus: