Living with 3 kids is hard work. The Better Half and I are always tired, emotional and confused. It's like constantly being drunk, but more expensive.
But that's not stopped my research. Yes, the basic tenets of physics are coming crashing around our ears at Chez Turner.
In the last few weeks, I have created the world's first perpetual motion machine. All you require is a trampoline and 2 toddlers. They. Never. Stop. Bouncing. I've been powering my laptop just through wiring it up to the garden.
But the big news is that I've found the Holy Grail of physical science. The laws of physics state that you can't get more energy out of a system that you put in. When you burn coal, for example, you're not creating energy, you're just converting it into heat.
But I'm pretty sure that Kid C is releasing more stuff from both ends than we're putting in. I've got to do the calculations, but I think with a few thousand new-borns linked together in parallel, I can solve the world's energy crisis.
That's worth a Nobel prize, isn't it? A Grammy at the least.
Where's my column in the Guardian Family section?
Friday, 12 June 2009
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Not sure about a Nobel prize but certainly a Blue Peter badge.
ReplyDeleteI'll take it!
ReplyDeleteI could be wrong, but isn't this how The Martix started?
ReplyDeleteThat's a very good point. I hope Skynet doesn't read this and they form an alliance...
ReplyDelete