The sun is out and it's a weekend of sport.
I have a very narrow definition of what constitutes a sport. It came about after a very long afternoon in the pub and much debate and compromise with friends:
"If you can play it professionally wearing slacks, it's not a sport. It's a pastime."
Golf? Pastime. Snooker? Pastime. Darts? Pas-fuckin'-time.
Much to the annoyance of some friends and family, this means that cricket is not technically a sport. Or much fun to watch. Only the English could invent a game that lasts for five days and still result in a draw. The only thing it has going for it is the opportunity to drink outside without feeling like a tramp.
Formula One is just as bad. There's something wrong when what goes on behind the scenes is far more interesting than what actually happens on the track. And I can't understand the way people support a company (though, I suppose, what's the difference between supporting Ferrari or Manchester United these days? They're both multi-national corporations.)
Question for Formula One fans. When I watch Newcastle United play, I wear a replica top. When you watch racing, do you sit on your sofa wearing a flame retardant suit?
(For some, the family curse is webbed toes or the haunted castle in Bavaria. The Turner family curse is having to support Newcastle United. Seriously, if I changed allegience, I'm out of my father's will)
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