Bored At Work?

So, it's Monday morning. The long week stretches out in front of you like a long, stretchy thing.

How are you and your work colleagues going to entertain yourselves for the next five days?

Here's an idea:

Do you have security swipe cards with embarrassing pictures on? Are all these pictures kept in a central location on the company's network?

Why not print these out and then make your own personalised 'Guess Who?' game?

"Do they have too many teddy bears on their desk?"

"Yes" Click. Click. Click.

"Do they reveal too much about their personal life when I walk past them?"

"Yes" Click. Click. Click.

"Is it Linda from accounts?"

"Yes."

You Mean I Have To Do Everything Myself?

Childhood Perversions Part 3.

The Better Half and I like to encourage creativity in Kids A - C. Sometimes, though, things go awry. A little while ago, Kid B appeared to have manufactured a cock and balls.

She's her father's daughter, alright.

I've just remembered that my mother reads this blog. She must be so proud.

Before anyone calls social services, remember that I have a mug

#theBNParetwats - The Gift That Keeps on Giving

You remember the whole BNP hashtag fun'n'games? Well, it seems that the BNP election flyers have a correspondence address on them.

Originally, I'd planned on gathering a whole lot of flyers, manufacturing a papier mache mosque and sending it to the address. Unfortunately, the Better Half - possibly knowing me too well - got hold of our flyer and binned it before I could begin work. That and I have a very short attention span.

You'll know that I'm a lover, not a fighter, and I was wondering why someone would turn to the BNP. Perhap they thought - incorrectly - that they'd run out of options. Maybe they needed to be educated. So, logically, I thought I'd provide them with some options and some education.

So, I've made this and posted it to them:

It's a traditional Japanese origami game called Pakupaku, I believe, but you'll probably remember it from school where you'd write the names of people you fancied in it.

I've gone for bright shiny colours to gain their interest. I've written in suggestions to try and expand their horizons. Ideas for things to do, nuggets of trivia, films to watch and music to listen to (What little white supremicist music I've heard must mean that Nick Griffin's CD collection is shit)

1. St. George was probably Turkish
2. Watch a Spike Lee film. Ease in gently with "Inside Man".
3. Buy a kd lang album. You can't catch gay!
4. Try a curry. They're really nice!
5. Go for a drink with a gay man. They know lots of hot chicks!
6. Listen to some Public Enemy. They've got a good beat!
7. Churchill originally suggested a United States of Europe.
8. Have some cake. I find I always hate less after some cake

Now, I wouldn't dare suggest that you should waste their time by doing something similar and posting it to The National Office, Admail 4148, London, EC1A 1UY.

That would be silly and childish.

Hippo Breeding Programme

I'm trying to start a Hungry Hippos Breeding Programme.

Next, I'm going to breed a herd of Buckaroos, create a cavalry of Action Men and annexe the local playground.